- Virginia Johnson
What's wrong with this story:
A father tells the authorities his daughter can do impossible things AND the authorities believe him.
A soon-to-be bride promises to give her future baby away to a TROLL.
Said bride agrees to marry the man who's threatened to kill her if she can't keep doing the impossible.
What would a troll do with a baby anyhow, and why would he give her all that spun gold for a tiny ring?
Why doesn't the heroine do ANYTHING to get herself out of this predicament?!
This old fairy tale is such a ridiculous story that the author wanted to fix it. So Vivian Vande Velde set out to do so six different ways in The Rumpelstiltskin Problem. The characters never come out the same in these retellings. The troll in "A Fairy Tale in Bad Taste" has gruesome appetites. "Straw Into Gold" has our beauty and her father resorting to an elaborate con game to keep from starving to death in the days before Social Security or insurance.
And, when is a troll not a troll? When he's a sweet house guardian called a "Domovoi" who's sick unto death of the silly misery that human beings put themselves through. His job is to make the household a happy one, but some people are only happy when they think they're suffering. So be it!
"Papa Rumpelstiltskin" features a miller who is so proud of his daughter, Christina, that he is not above a little—or a lot—of embellishment. Fortunately Christina keeps her head after the king demands that she makes good on her father's boast that she can weave straw into gold. If only "Papa Rumplestiltskin" can keep his mouth shut! "Ms. Rumplestiltskin" takes place "before eyelash curlers and lip liner." Rumplestiltskin may be a downright homely girl with no friends and certainly no boyfriends, but all that doesn't keep her from wishing for a child to love.
"As Good as Gold" finds a King who would like a bride, but certainly not a social climber who traipses after his carriage, stupidly insisting she can spin straw into gold.
Each story is funny and memorable and has the added bonus of being the perfect length for retelling to friends.