Lee Criscuolo

The Swarm

One day in late May I looked out the window and saw an enormous thick cloud of bees in front of our barn. What should I do?! Shut the windows and cower? Call the exterminator? Call the nearest beekeeper? I called the nearest beekeeper. (He was just in the next room.) If you haven't got the beekeeping bug, you might not be pleased to have a swarm of bees in your yard, but to my family, it means honey!

Due to the stupidity revealed in this story, our names have been changed to protect our identities. My husband, Ed, will henceforth be referred to as "Herb," and I will be "Sally." Herb and I are experienced hikers. We've read A Walk in the Woods.

When my husband suggested we buy a goat, I talked him out of it. From all I'd heard, a goat would be more trouble than it would be worth. They escape all the time. They eat everything they shouldn't. They get into all kinds of trouble. I knew a woman who had a goat that was always getting out and loved to climb on cars, leaving roofs and hoods covered with hoof-shaped dents. What would we do with a goat anyway?