Animals -- humor
I set off one morning in my little red canoe.
My dog wagged his tail.
“Can I come, too?”
It’s a perfect day to explore the lake for a young girl and her dog. They’ve got snacks, paddles, and life jackets--everything a One-Dog Canoe needs. The only problem is, they’re having such a good time that soon all the critters in the lake want to join them.
"This hat is not mine. I just stole it."
This is Not My Hat invites us into the mind of a tiny fish who cares nothing for his underwater brethren. The fish offers many reasons why he will succeed in his crime, why he deserves the hat over the much bigger fish he snatched it from. Obviously, we are dealing with a sociopath here.
If only I had read I'd Really Like to Eat a Child when I was small, life would have been so much easier.
This is not because I fell victim to some carnivorous beastie that could only be satisfied with devouring yours truly--though once I was surrounded by a ferocious herd of petting-zoo goats. Rather, I might have understood the importance of eating whatever my parents told me to.
I am a former picky eater. Fruits and vegetables were not my bag, and hot dogs reigned supreme. One time I even threw a stuffed pepper out the window. Fortunately, time has passed, and I began to appreciate the foods that I once avoided. But I know how the little crocodile Achilles feels when he rejects his parents' meal of freshly-picked bananas. "Today, I'd really like to eat a child."
What is a bear’s favorite baseball team? Why the Cubs of course! In Grin and Bear It, by Leo Landry, Bear is becoming confident in telling his jokes on Woodland Stage in front of all his friends. The only foreseeable problem is that Bear suffers from stage fright. Whenever he tries to speak in front of people, his knees knock, his paws pause, his fur freezes while he stutters, barely being able to speak. Bear rehearses over and over again in front of his mirror while constantly writing new jokes. He feels ready.